Negative

Well by this time I have taken so many negative pregnancy tests that I can't even count. So today's news was no surprise. I went in for a blood test this morning and I just got official word that IUI #1 was a failure.

I am disappointed, but ready to get the ball rolling for the second IUI cycle. The Dr. wants me to do the same protocol that I did with the first cycle, because everything went great. So onto more shots and hopefully an big positive test maybe even in time for my birthday....now that would be a great present!

In other news we just got back from a wonderful long weekend up in Fargo for the fourth. We went up Friday night, Saturday we went to the pool. Sunday Alyssa and the girls went to Detroit Lakes with me to a birthday party for my friend Ashley's little boy, then we went to another lake to spend some time with my family that was up there. Back in Fargo we set up a tent in Alyssa's back yard and had my friends over for a bonfire, and then that night the 3 oldest kids and I slept in the tent. I was so surprised they all made it through the night! On the 4th we went to the pool again for a bit, but they closed early then we went over to some friends of Alyssa's for some food, and fireworks. We started fireworks early because some families leave before it gets too dark. About 9:30 it started getting really dark in the horizon but we kept going until it started to sprinkle - we even heard the sirens once but it was still pretty far off. It did start raining just shortly after 10 and so we all went in the basement for a bit. Once it was over we got back to our fireworks, and the had lots! It was a fun night. The next morning we learned there was a tornado sighted in Mapleton - which is where we were! We rounded out the weekend with another trip to the pool on Tuesday before heading home. Now its back to work.

IUI #1

It's been a little while - and quite a few things have happened. So to start where I left off, I went in Thursday the 16th for another u/s and I had two good looking follies - one on each side. They wanted them to grow a little more so I was to come back on Saturday. I had to schedule at the Minneapolis office though because St.Paul is closed on the weekend, kind of annoying but it wasn't too bad to get to. So then Friday morning I wake up and I felt like I had been run over by a truck, my head hurt and I was achey all over. I had a slight fever but got going to work. I talked with my intern about how I didn't feel well so whatever she wanted to take on would be great. She said she could lead the class all day, so I said ok! I was so happy that she was willing to do it, because I was definitely not that functional. Over the course of the morning the headache got progressively worse. I was suppose to work my other job, but at the end of my shift at the zoo I was pretty much in tears with the pain. So I called in. I went home and all I wanted to do was sleep. I got in my bed around 3 pm and I laid there and tried to sleep until about 10 pm, no sleep because of the pain. So I knew at this point that I must have a migraine. It was terrible. I tossed and turned and was having a hard time regulating my temperature, one minute I was cold, and the other I was sweating. I checked my temp a couple times and it was increasing and finally spiked at 101. I ended up calling my RE because I wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything that I shouldn't take to interfere with the fertility meds I was on, and also to ask him if he thought that this was a reaction to the meds. He said that in his 30 years of practice no one reacted like that so it was probably just something else, a virus or something. So I took aspirin and tried again to sleep. I had also called my other job again to say that I probably wouldn't be in on Saturday as well, because I didn't think this sickness was going anywhere. 

The next morning I had my appointment, so I had Micah take me because with the headache I wasn't functioning very well still, and I was quite dizzy so driving wasn't such a good idea. I had another u/s and the follicles had both grown to an appropriate size. The one on the right was 16mm and the one on the left was at 20mm. So I was told to trigger that night with the Ovidrel and come back for the IUI on Monday. Over the course of the day I started feeling a little better, but I was glad that I didn't go to work, I would not have been very functional. 

Sunday I was feeling better, but now the soreness had moved into my throat, so I was annoyed by that, but thankful the migraine was gone. We went over to my parents house that day for Father's Day and just relaxed so that was nice. 

Monday morning I had to work for a bit and then I had my IUI. Micah had an appointment at 9 am - to go give his sample. And then my appointment was at 11 am. Everything went smoothly the IUI took only a few minutes and it was just like a pap smear. They put the speculum in, and then insert a catheter in your cervix and inject the sperm. Once done, you lay on the table for 10 minutes, and then you can leave. It was kind of funny because you are just in this sterile room, so random nurse injects the sperm, and you lay there listening to classical music while you wait. I guess Micah was a little creeped out when he had give his sample. He said once he got in the room, there was a recliner and a discreet envelope filled with porno mags. He didn't want to sit down or touch anything thinking about what everyone comes in there to do! At least the last time he had to collect a sample (for the semen analysis) he could do it at home. Monday afternoon I decided to go to the regular doctor because I woke up with my ear hurting really bad, so I come to find out that I have an ear infection and it was pretty bad, so I got some antibiotics and ear drops and I think I am getting better. My left ear is still ringing pretty bad and hurting but hopefully it will be going away soon. 

So basically now I wait. I am one week in to the dreaded two week wait (2ww). And let me tell you I am pretty much consumed with the thought of "I hope it worked" and "I hope I am pregnant." I will likely try to test on Friday, and if it's negative then I will wait again until the following Monday, which is the 4th of July. I have my official blood test at my RE scheduled for July 6th, but I know I can't wait until then and I do want to be someone prepared to hear that its a negative, if that is how it turns out, which I hope isn't the case!!!! I am feeling very optimistic about this cycle, I am hoping for a little beginners luck with the IUI, I don't want to have to do this several more times. But I also felt this optimistic with the start of clomid, and that didn't get me anywhere. So here's hoping IUI #1 is the trick!!! 

Promising

This weekend we got an unexpected, but fun visit from the in-laws. They were down for an anniversary party, that we also attended with them for a bit, and then we spent Sunday with MIL's best friend. She lives on a lake in Maple Grove so we spent the afternoon out on a pontoon - it was lovely. My SIL came with as well, along with her two daughters, which was great. Anika who is six, told me the sweetest thing. Last week she had vacation bible school, in which they made prayer boxes, and the prayer that she put in was "For my Auntie to get a baby" Made me cry! I thought that was so precious!!

Another hopefully positive sign that things hopefully will be going my way soon was a fortune cookie that I got at the anniversary party, it said "Your efforts will result in much profit"

I went in for an ultrasound on Monday and everything was looking good, but my largest follicle was at 10mm and they like to see them at about 16 or larger before release. So I am going back on Thursday morning for another ultrasound. I hope the follies are growing well and looking good!!

Shots

I went to the Dr this morning to have a baseline ultrasound. Its an ultrasound that you get at the beginning of your cycle to see how your uterine lining is looking and if you have any little follicles starting in the ovaries. Everything looked good no signs of cysts and the lining looked on track. After the ultrasound she said that I should start my follistim injections today! I will then go back next Monday and they will do another ultrasound, and then see if I should continue shots, or trigger ovulation with the ovidrel.

So tonight was the night! I gave myself my first injection! I was really nervous... so was Micah he could hardly watch me (he hates needles!). But after geeking out for a couple minutes, I did it! It wasn't too bad, and didn't hurt at all. So hopefully tomorrow I won't freak out before injecting it. I really hope my little follies start growing and look beautiful next week!

June!

I can't believe we are halfway through 2011.... I was hoping to have a baby this year, and clearly that is not going to happen. But there is good news today, its CD 1!! I haven't been excited to get my period in a LONG time, but it is a good thing today because I get to call tomorrow to set up a baseline ultrasound to check things out before starting my new treatment plan. Hopefully I will hear good things, and we can get things rolling again! I feel like the past two months I have just been in a holding pattern so I am hoping for some good baby dust this cycle!

Along with starting as a pharmacy technician I have also started my new summer job teaching zoo camp. I have only taught two days so far, but so far its ridiculously fun! I taught preschoolers, which I was nervous about since I have never really taught that age group before but they were so stinkin' cute, and were all so excited to be there. This week I will be spending some time prepping for the class that I will teach most of the summer, which is a 1st and 2nd grade class, called ocean odyssey. I get to spend my summer teaching little kids about the ocean, pretty much amazing! Last Tuesday we had a meeting to go over general policies, etc about the summer, and we got to preview the new penguin exhibit that will open next month. It was really nice, and penguins were so cute! It is a wonderful new addition to the zoo, and I am excited that I will get to take my students there this summer!

Comments

Don't you just hate it when you sit at the wrong table? Tonight we had a training at my new job and I sat at a table with a couple other people, and before long the conversation turned to kids, and pregnancy and "are you getting the itch for a second baby yet?" and on and on. I was so uncomfortable and really wished that I would have been sitting with the interns or something because I know that isn't what they would have been talking about. So before too long, of course, they asked if I had kids, which of course I had to smile nicely and say no. But all I wanted to do was crawl under the table and hide. I understand that many people don't go through infertility, but it just sucks for those of us that do, and when we are bombarded with these situations that bring up these feelings of jealousy and sadness it just stinks! I know they would just trying to make conversation but it doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with sometimes. So I just have to put on my happy face and talk about my "fur babies" instead!

Pharmacy

I received my first (and hopefully only if I am lucky!) round of injections in the mail last week. It ended up being quite the ordeal to get them though! When I was prescribed them I was told that my insurance preferred to use a mail order pharmacy. So I called the insurance to see if that meant that I could only get them from there or if I could get them anywhere. I found out that I could order them anywhere. So I took my prescription into Target to see if they could get everything there. They said they could, but they would have to special order two of the things, which would be fine. So I told them to go ahead and order them. Well I get a call a couple days later from a tech there saying that they can't order all the things that I needed, the one they couldn't was the most expensive thing. So I called the mail order pharmacy and went ahead and had them fill my order. Then the next day Target tells me, that they can order that med for me. But it was too late, I had already had the other pharmacy sending it. So I was upset, but oh well what can you do. I ordered the prescriptions from the mail order on Tuesday, and they were to be overnighted to arrive Wednesday. The tech wanted to make sure that someone would be there to sign for them, and I told him that I would be home all day. Well Wednesday noon-ish when Micah left for work, he saw a note on the back door - it was from the FedEx guy telling us that we missed him. And we had been home all morning, so apparently he hadn't rung the doorbell or something. Thursday, same thing we got a note that said that we had missed our delivery. So finally Friday, I got up early to be downstairs to make sure that I didn't somehow miss him - this time he came to the front door, and for sure rang the door bell, so I finally had all my stuff! I was worried however, because two of the prescriptions  needed to be refrigerated. They were packed cold, but by Friday of course they weren't cold. So I had to call the pharmacy, I was going to be pissed if they weren't good anymore! Luckily they both are stable at room temp so no worries, they were still fine. I am waiting for cycle day 1 (CD1) before anything actually starts happening but hopefully that is any day now! Its weird that I am actually looking forward to it for once in this process!

In other pharmacy news, I just started working as a pharmacy tech. There is a LOT of training but so far its going well. Its nice to be learning something new. I had a little bit of cross training in the fall, some stuff is a little bit of a refresher, but with lots more added. The biggest thing to get used to over there is the computer system to place orders. The system has lots of shortcuts, and weird keys that are taking time to get used to, but I know that it will come with practice. I have one more full week of official training, and then its go time! I still have to get through a massive text book, that I have to read cover to cover. But I have some time to get through that, and then once I finish I can take a test to be a certified Rx tech. I haven't looked into that much yet, as to what its like and whatnot but I figure I will get through the book first and then decide if I want to get officially certified.