Support

As things have been moving along I have found that I need more support, and I need to know that other people have been where I am, and I need to know that it is ok, and I will get through it. So I have found myself back on the website The Bump - and on the community boards there, and scouring the internet for infertility blogs, and even videos on YouTube. I recently stumbled upon this video, which I think is very well done.

The one thing that is slightly annoying is that I don't feel that I can talk to many people in my everyday life about it. Which would be nice sometimes. There are a couple people at my job that I have told, and a couple friends. But it's not like I want the whole world knowing my business, but at the same time you do what to know who else might have gone through similar stuff, and might be able give you advice, or lend you an ear without making dumb comments. There is a National Infertility Association called Resolve, that has a great website, and they have a page about fertility etiquette and I wish everyone would know these things! Here is a bit about what they about fertility etiquette...

1. Don't tell them to relax - I don't know how many people have told me this, its far too many. And every time someone says it to me I just want to shake them! First of all, no I am way past the point of "just relaxing" and secondly, how can I relax when I am consumed with this need to be a mother, and nothing seems to be working right? The website states "Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year." "Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant."
2. Don't minimize the problem - This journey to have a baby has been filled with a rollercoaster of emotions and LOTS of crying. I am surrounded by people with kids and seen many come into this world all while I still try without luck. The website offers this little nugget "Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain"
3. Don't say there are worse things that could happen - I realize that you think this isn't the end of the world. But again, I have a goal in life to be a mom, and this, to me, right now, is the worst thing that could happen. 
4. Don't complain about your pregnancy - This one is a tough one, I have known LOTS of people that have been/ are pregnant right now. And while I do want to know how things are going for them and want to be supportive. Its super difficult to hear them talk about pregnancy and complain about it. Just being around pregnant people is difficult, and upon hearing complaints I just want to be sick. I would give anything at this point to be puking every day with morning sickness, gaining weight, getting stretchmarks, and waddling around everywhere - because those things would be stemming from the child growing inside of me!