Stress

I find that I have been feeling stressed over this whole mess quite frequently. Some days are good, and some days are not so good. The not so good days I dwell on all the negative things and I really hate that. But sometimes its just hard to get out of the funk. I found this little excerpt about stress and infertility from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. 

Stress Causing Infertility- Though infertility is a highly stressful experience, there is very little evidence that infertility can be caused by stress.  In rare cases, high levels of stress in women can change hormone levels and cause irregular ovulation.

Infertility Causing Stress- Research has shown that women undergoing treatment for infertility have a similar, and often higher, level of "stress" as women dealing with life-threatening illnesses such as cancer and heart disease.  Infertile couples experience chronic stress each month, first hoping that they will conceive and then dealing with the disappointment if they do not.

Why Infertility Is Stressful- When diagnosed with infertility, many couples may no longer feel in control of their bodies or their life plan.  Infertility can be a major crisis because the important life goal of parenthood is threatened.  Experience has shown them that if they work hard at something, they can achieve it.  With IF, this may not be the case.  IF testing testing and treatments can be physically, emotionally, and financially stressful.  A couple's intimacy is often reduced by the IF experience which further contributes to increased stress levels.

I found it quite interesting that women undergoing infertility treatments have a similar or higher stress level than women going through life-threatening illnesses. I think that ties in with the 3rd point that speaks about the goal of parenthood being threatened. It just seems like such a natural and easy thing to be able to do. I mean millions of people do it every year! Have sex, and next thing you know 9 months later.... baby! Right?? Well here I am 2 years later, and no baby. Try and try with all our might, no baby. I do have faith that it will happen, but I would like it to happen sooner rather than later! Some other recent reading said that fertility starts to decrease after 27, seeing as 28 is coming up in a couple weeks we gotta get this baby started!!!

Nutrition

Micah and I recently watched a documentary called Food Matters. It was quite interesting in its discussion about how the foods you eat and the nutrients you receive can be your medicine. It talks about how so much of our food is nutritionally-depleted and has so many chemical additives and how we so heavily rely on pharmaceutical drugs to treat out ailments, when much of it might stem from what we are eating. It discussed how just having the right kind of diet and nutritional supplements could even help cure things like cancer. It was very informative, and definitely sold us on taking more supplements along with helping keep us on a healthier diet.

Recently through their Facebook page they posted "7 Tips To Get Pregnant Naturally" So of course I had to check that out. It talks about increasing your vitamin and mineral intake - which Micah and I both have been doing since April. It also talks about eating healthy fats like avocados, olive and olive oil, coconut and coconut oil, fresh nuts, wild caught fish, and organic eggs. Other good things to eat are foods with a good content of folic acid, and iron - things like chickpeas, asparagus, spinach, broccoli, lima beans, romaine lettuce and oranges. I think those all sound like things that I can make sure to be eating! Especially avocados and oranges, I love them! Not necessarily together though...anways, here is the link to the site, I would also highly suggest seeing Food Matters, it was very educational!
Food Matters

Next

Today I went in for my CD3 ultrasound (u/s). The nurse said that everything looked great, my lining was thin, which is what they want to see at the beginning of a cycle, and there were no surprises in my ovaries. After the u/s I met with the nurse to go over the protocol that I will use this month. The Dr said that by all accounts this past cycle was a great one. The follicles were good, the sperm were good, I responded to meds well etc. So he wants to just do the same again.

Basically every cycle you have a 20% chance of getting pregnant. Before I was on the meds, my chances were much lower. So now that I am having more 'perfect cycles' because of the meds my chances of getting pregnant should be better. It seems crazy that you only have a 20% chance each time. How is it that some people get pregnant on the first try?? Or better yet, be on birth control and get pregnant, I guess I never needed to worry about that!  Anyways, I start my injections again today, and I go back for another u/s in a week, then they will see where things are at and move forward from there. Grow follies, grow!

Negative

Well by this time I have taken so many negative pregnancy tests that I can't even count. So today's news was no surprise. I went in for a blood test this morning and I just got official word that IUI #1 was a failure.

I am disappointed, but ready to get the ball rolling for the second IUI cycle. The Dr. wants me to do the same protocol that I did with the first cycle, because everything went great. So onto more shots and hopefully an big positive test maybe even in time for my birthday....now that would be a great present!

In other news we just got back from a wonderful long weekend up in Fargo for the fourth. We went up Friday night, Saturday we went to the pool. Sunday Alyssa and the girls went to Detroit Lakes with me to a birthday party for my friend Ashley's little boy, then we went to another lake to spend some time with my family that was up there. Back in Fargo we set up a tent in Alyssa's back yard and had my friends over for a bonfire, and then that night the 3 oldest kids and I slept in the tent. I was so surprised they all made it through the night! On the 4th we went to the pool again for a bit, but they closed early then we went over to some friends of Alyssa's for some food, and fireworks. We started fireworks early because some families leave before it gets too dark. About 9:30 it started getting really dark in the horizon but we kept going until it started to sprinkle - we even heard the sirens once but it was still pretty far off. It did start raining just shortly after 10 and so we all went in the basement for a bit. Once it was over we got back to our fireworks, and the had lots! It was a fun night. The next morning we learned there was a tornado sighted in Mapleton - which is where we were! We rounded out the weekend with another trip to the pool on Tuesday before heading home. Now its back to work.

IUI #1

It's been a little while - and quite a few things have happened. So to start where I left off, I went in Thursday the 16th for another u/s and I had two good looking follies - one on each side. They wanted them to grow a little more so I was to come back on Saturday. I had to schedule at the Minneapolis office though because St.Paul is closed on the weekend, kind of annoying but it wasn't too bad to get to. So then Friday morning I wake up and I felt like I had been run over by a truck, my head hurt and I was achey all over. I had a slight fever but got going to work. I talked with my intern about how I didn't feel well so whatever she wanted to take on would be great. She said she could lead the class all day, so I said ok! I was so happy that she was willing to do it, because I was definitely not that functional. Over the course of the morning the headache got progressively worse. I was suppose to work my other job, but at the end of my shift at the zoo I was pretty much in tears with the pain. So I called in. I went home and all I wanted to do was sleep. I got in my bed around 3 pm and I laid there and tried to sleep until about 10 pm, no sleep because of the pain. So I knew at this point that I must have a migraine. It was terrible. I tossed and turned and was having a hard time regulating my temperature, one minute I was cold, and the other I was sweating. I checked my temp a couple times and it was increasing and finally spiked at 101. I ended up calling my RE because I wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything that I shouldn't take to interfere with the fertility meds I was on, and also to ask him if he thought that this was a reaction to the meds. He said that in his 30 years of practice no one reacted like that so it was probably just something else, a virus or something. So I took aspirin and tried again to sleep. I had also called my other job again to say that I probably wouldn't be in on Saturday as well, because I didn't think this sickness was going anywhere. 

The next morning I had my appointment, so I had Micah take me because with the headache I wasn't functioning very well still, and I was quite dizzy so driving wasn't such a good idea. I had another u/s and the follicles had both grown to an appropriate size. The one on the right was 16mm and the one on the left was at 20mm. So I was told to trigger that night with the Ovidrel and come back for the IUI on Monday. Over the course of the day I started feeling a little better, but I was glad that I didn't go to work, I would not have been very functional. 

Sunday I was feeling better, but now the soreness had moved into my throat, so I was annoyed by that, but thankful the migraine was gone. We went over to my parents house that day for Father's Day and just relaxed so that was nice. 

Monday morning I had to work for a bit and then I had my IUI. Micah had an appointment at 9 am - to go give his sample. And then my appointment was at 11 am. Everything went smoothly the IUI took only a few minutes and it was just like a pap smear. They put the speculum in, and then insert a catheter in your cervix and inject the sperm. Once done, you lay on the table for 10 minutes, and then you can leave. It was kind of funny because you are just in this sterile room, so random nurse injects the sperm, and you lay there listening to classical music while you wait. I guess Micah was a little creeped out when he had give his sample. He said once he got in the room, there was a recliner and a discreet envelope filled with porno mags. He didn't want to sit down or touch anything thinking about what everyone comes in there to do! At least the last time he had to collect a sample (for the semen analysis) he could do it at home. Monday afternoon I decided to go to the regular doctor because I woke up with my ear hurting really bad, so I come to find out that I have an ear infection and it was pretty bad, so I got some antibiotics and ear drops and I think I am getting better. My left ear is still ringing pretty bad and hurting but hopefully it will be going away soon. 

So basically now I wait. I am one week in to the dreaded two week wait (2ww). And let me tell you I am pretty much consumed with the thought of "I hope it worked" and "I hope I am pregnant." I will likely try to test on Friday, and if it's negative then I will wait again until the following Monday, which is the 4th of July. I have my official blood test at my RE scheduled for July 6th, but I know I can't wait until then and I do want to be someone prepared to hear that its a negative, if that is how it turns out, which I hope isn't the case!!!! I am feeling very optimistic about this cycle, I am hoping for a little beginners luck with the IUI, I don't want to have to do this several more times. But I also felt this optimistic with the start of clomid, and that didn't get me anywhere. So here's hoping IUI #1 is the trick!!! 

Promising

This weekend we got an unexpected, but fun visit from the in-laws. They were down for an anniversary party, that we also attended with them for a bit, and then we spent Sunday with MIL's best friend. She lives on a lake in Maple Grove so we spent the afternoon out on a pontoon - it was lovely. My SIL came with as well, along with her two daughters, which was great. Anika who is six, told me the sweetest thing. Last week she had vacation bible school, in which they made prayer boxes, and the prayer that she put in was "For my Auntie to get a baby" Made me cry! I thought that was so precious!!

Another hopefully positive sign that things hopefully will be going my way soon was a fortune cookie that I got at the anniversary party, it said "Your efforts will result in much profit"

I went in for an ultrasound on Monday and everything was looking good, but my largest follicle was at 10mm and they like to see them at about 16 or larger before release. So I am going back on Thursday morning for another ultrasound. I hope the follies are growing well and looking good!!

Shots

I went to the Dr this morning to have a baseline ultrasound. Its an ultrasound that you get at the beginning of your cycle to see how your uterine lining is looking and if you have any little follicles starting in the ovaries. Everything looked good no signs of cysts and the lining looked on track. After the ultrasound she said that I should start my follistim injections today! I will then go back next Monday and they will do another ultrasound, and then see if I should continue shots, or trigger ovulation with the ovidrel.

So tonight was the night! I gave myself my first injection! I was really nervous... so was Micah he could hardly watch me (he hates needles!). But after geeking out for a couple minutes, I did it! It wasn't too bad, and didn't hurt at all. So hopefully tomorrow I won't freak out before injecting it. I really hope my little follies start growing and look beautiful next week!