Goals

All along this journey I have made little goals that I hoped to achieve.

When we first got married I thought maybe we would start trying when we were 25. Well that came and went without much thought about it.

 Then it was we will wait until I have a job. So I got my teaching job, and then we thought that it might not be smart to try during my first year teaching. So that came and went, then I got laid off, so again, maybe not a good time. But it was that summer after I got laid off that I did go off the pill.

 So my first goal was to be pregnant by the time my younger brother graduated from high school - that was June 2010. Clearly no dice.

Summer 2010 we found out Micah's sister, Alyssa,  was pregnant with her 4th baby. I was thrilled for her, but then I was even more bummed that I still wasn't pregnant. Over the course of the time that I have been trying it has seemed that everyone I know has gotten pregnant. While I was so happy for these people, it hurt so much inside that I wasn't one of them.

So then my goal became to be pregnant before Alyssa had her baby. I thought about how great it would be if they were close in age. Well little miss Olivia Grace was born in February.

Then I had a goal to have a baby this year....but as March comes to a close I don't think that is going to happen.

So I don't know that goals were a good idea, because so far none of them have worked out. Somehow they do help me think of a positive reason that it hasn't happened yet, but I might be done with goal making.