Hope

This whole process has been a little extra frustrating to me because every test has come back ok. Every test and procedure that we have tried so far has come back with results that indicate that Micah and I should be fully functional. This is somewhat enraging. It appears that I have "unexplained infertility" and that is just so darn annoying. At least if something came back with some red flags we could be taking steps to correct said things and maybe be on our way.

I recently read a book called "The Conception Chronicles: the uncensored truth about sex, love and marriage when you are trying to get pregnant," it brought me a lot of hope, and some laughs. It was written by three mothers, all friends who had traveled this journey trying to get pregnant, and they very candidly wrote about their thoughts and feelings, and what they went through and I realized for the first time that I was not alone. I knew that lots of people struggled with this but, it seemed that no one else is my life was experiencing anything like I was. Not that I have been counting *cough* but 15 babies have been conceived or born to people I know since I have decided to start on this journey to be a Mom. While I am thrilled for all of them, another part of me is filled with sadness that I haven't experienced that joy yet. The book talked a lot about what these Mom's had went through as they started their journeys to get pregnant. I resonated with many of the things that they wrote about. From when they first got prescribed things like Clomid, waiting anxiously at the pharmacy and the feeling of wanting to run home and read about their new meds and get started on them. To getting a positive ovulation test, and wanting to get busy at that moment so not to waste the chance to try to conceive. One story that really gave me a good laugh, was about a woman who took an ovulation test while her husband was at work, and she got a positive so she called him and told him that he had to come home right away so they could get busy. He refused and said that it would have to wait until he got home. Well she didn't like that response so she drove to his work and called him from the parking ramp and demanded that he come out during his lunch break so they could have sex right there. Well they did, in the car, in the parking ramp. But lucky for them, that romp, or one that month worked! And she was pregnant, so her crazy paid off.

This week I am waiting on my Dr to give me a call to refer me to a reproductive endocrinologist. While I am somewhat excited to set this appointment up I am also upset that its come to this. I am nervous that I will have to start doing a bunch of injections (ouch!), and may have to move into in-vitro fertilization. Which all sounds very expensive, and unnecessary since it appears that nothing is wrong.

However- I have recently stumbled across some new hope, in alternative treatments that might be a better fit for me. Acupuncture or seeing a chiropractor. Both of these options seem way more appealing to me. I have been checking into our insurance to see if either would be covered for infertility - they are not - darn. But if I go to a chiro for back pain it would be covered, I have been having back issues with work recently, so maybe work on that will subsequently help other areas as well! I guess we'll see, I am going to the chiropractor on Monday, happy to get things moving along again!