Life

Well again there isnt really much to update about. It's ben a pretty busy month. I erroneously thought that things might calm down since I am down to one job! But the hours I have been getting at Target are kinda odd, so I haven't been getting much accomplished at home! I also keep getting scheduled long stretches without a day off, which sucks, but I guess that is the story of my life.

Last weekend we went to a wedding for my second cousin, it was a nice wedding. However, I left the ceremony feeling like a bitter infertile. It was a catholic service, and we aren't catholic, and seven times (7!!!) the priest mentioned things about children "when you are blessed with children," "the blessing of children" "will you accept children" etc. Every time he said something it was like a little knife to my heart. I even started crying. I suppose if people saw it they thought I was just crying happiness for the wedding! But no. It was just a reminder of what was so very absent in my life. I hated that the service left me feeling crabby. But I was able to somewhat snap out of it at the reception. I got my baby fix with my youngest cousin's baby who is just over a year old and cute as can be. I was nervous the whole time that people would ask Micah and I about when we were going to have kids, but luckily no one did. I know many know that we are having troubles, but I am glad they didn't bring it up because I am sure I would have been a fountain of tears.

Another baby fix that I am getting is one day a week nannying. One of the team leads at Target approached me at the end of August asking me if I would want to watch her kids one day a week. I told her that I would love to! So every Wednesday I watch a 3 year old and a 5 month old. They have been a lot of fun. The 3 year old, Owen, is huge into reading and practicing his letters, I also get to take him to preschool every Weds morning. The baby is super mellow and is just a doll. The only thing that has been somewhat challenging is when the baby and I go out while we are waiting for Owen during preschool. I get lots of compliments about her, which is great, but I so wish I could say thank you as if she were mine. I have been trying to just keep thinking how wonderful it will be once I have a baby of my own, and I can be a proud mama!