Stuck

Nothing really interesting to post about....but I haven't posted in awhile so I thought I should. The summer is officially over. I finished up my last day of teaching camp at the zoo yesterday. It was somewhat sad, it was such a fun (but way too fast!) summer, and I will be excited to teach again next summer, unless of course a baby comes along!!! For now its just back to Target. I am thankful for a job, but I really would like something more! We have been taking a real hard look at our finances and making a budget and things aren't looking very pretty! Between all the fertility treatments and other stupid large things that keep popping up its just no fun. So we both have been trying to find new jobs, because we are getting paid peanuts and we can't keep it up forever. I suppose it is good that we aren't pregnant right now so we can get this stuff back in order but on the same token if we had a baby we would have gotten this crap in order a long time ago! Oh well. Just one of those times when I am getting down thinking about how unfair it is that I have to pump so much money into MAKING A BABY, that is supposed to be the fun, FREE part! The expensive stuff is supposed to come after the baby is born!

I feel like I am just getting to this point where I am feeling quite stuck. Not only because we are taking a break this month. But also because I just feel like I am going through the motions of my life but I am not always totally there. Having a baby and getting pregnant are CONSTANTLY on my mind. I go to work and do what I am supposed to do, but when other thoughts are not on the forefront its right back to baby, or lack thereof. Can it happen for us? When is it going to happen for us? Why is infertility happening to us? It all just seems so unfair.